My 25 FaceBook Things.

Well, here it is....my maiden voyage into Blogdom. At the behest of my friends, I have decided to take the leap and pollute our shared and ever shrinking collective bandwidth with my thoughts, ideas, rants, and raves. I think my friends have given me good advice, as I obviously have a gift that the whole world needs to share. I mean, if you can't trust the people who have loved and cared for you your whole life to be objective about your skills, WHO can you trust?
Along the way there will be bumps and bruises, praise and criticisms, and most assuredly many misspelled words. I am not really sure what I am going to write about, how long I will stay interested in this new endeavor, or if anyone will indeed care. In fact, it is completely plausible that my friends were just being nice to me and indeed think I am yet another talentless hack who thinks he has something interesting to say.
Please don't hate me because my words are beautiful.



1. If I ever meet Shia LeBouf in person, I am going to punch him right in the neck. No Warning, No Clue, No Nothing. He-is-going-down.
2. Insert the singer Bono, in place of Shia LeBouf, in thing #1.
3. I wish U2 and Lynrd Skynrd could magically switch places.
4. Boogie Nights is the best American Film made in my lifetime.
5. Heath Ledger will win the Oscar based on his body of work and his untimely death. But his role in the Dark Knight was still good.
6. How can two brothers-Fred Savage (The Wonder Years) and Ben Savage (Boy Meets World) - make two television shows so vastly differing in quality? And why is Boy Meets World in syndication and not the Wonder Years?
7. Insert cast of Boy Meets World, in place of Bono, in thing #2.
8. George Carlin was just not that funny.
9. Insert the actor/comedian Robin Williams, in place of the cast of Boy Meets World, in thing #7.
10. I hope their is a Zombie Movie Oscar category established in my lifetime.
11. Has this list turned in a "Manifesto"?
12. HBO original programming is brilliant. Just Brilliant. The Larry Sanders Show, Mr. Show, The Sopranos, The Wire, Six Feet Under,Rome, Extras, Flight of the Conchords. I feel spoiled.
13. Go to the theatre and watch "The Wrestler". I am not asking.
14. George Bush Jr, would have made a better baseball commissioner than president. Other things he would have been better equiped to do: Anything Else.
15. It is gonna take a long time to dig our country out of his mess.
16. Although I initially supported Bill Richardson, I volunteered for Barack, and am glad he won. That being said, I think John McCain's election night speech was classy and eloquent.
17. People who can't say anything good about "the other side of the isle" are part of the problem and not the solution."
18. I am all powerful and do indeed know everything. I am also a bit of an egocentric narcissist.
19. I am unstoppable in Trivial Pursuit. This is a direct challenge to anyone who wants to play.
20. David Letterman is my own personal Jesus. Runners up include. Garry Shandling, Bill Murray, Charles Grodin, and Steve Martin.
21. I don't understand the appeal of reality shows.
22. Insert American Idol Judges, in place of actor/comedian Robin Williams, in thing #9.
23. I really like the new Jay Reatard album
.24. Ben Folds and Randy Newman have to be the smartest people in whatever room they are in.
25. A lot of popular contemporary music celebrates ignorance.
26. I wish I would have been a Cardinals fan. The Mets suck.
27. Insert The New York Mets Front Office and Players, in place of American Idol Judges, in thing #22.
28. I want to see Slumdog Millionaire.
29. I have had completely too much coffee.
30. I don't understand why people root against Michigan in every game in which they do not play The Ohio State University. When Michigan does well, it is good for our conference, and good for our program. These people are myopic.
31. Are you still reading? Sucker.
32. The Family Guy is good, but the Simpsons is still smarter. The Family Guy needs to gain about 75 IQ points to compete. Being mean with your comedy can be REALLY funny, but it doesn't make you intelligent. The Family Guy can not touch The Simpsons's satire.
33. I have taken King of The Hill for granted for a lot of years, and will probably miss it when it's gone.
34. Kurt Warner is a good man, but he is not superhuman. People do what he does (in regards to being an advocate for the disabled) everyday, without the fanfare and without nearly any of the financial resources. Most of those people also work two jobs. Kurt Warner is a good person, he is by no means special.
35.The Steelers are the best run organization in all of professional sports.
36. Harry Nilsson died too young.
37. MySpace is clearly superior to FaceBook.
38. Ben Kweller releases a new album on Tuesday. Please buy it and don't steal it.
39. Corporate Chain Restaurants are part of the problem.
40. I am a hypocrite.
41. I am glad President Obama's new stimulus package supports the arts.
42. John Edwards is a real asshole. Wow. I mean, come on! Who does THAT?
43. How the Hell is Jay Leno still on the air? Does anybody REALLY watch him?
44. This list could easily be construed as pompous, arrogant, and self-serving.
45. People who say they are registered "Independents", are just too cool to say the are democrats, even though these same people vote D 90% of the time.
46. I am scared that the last season of SCRUBS will be akin to Michael Jordan playing with the Washington Wizards.
47. Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead are outstanding.
48. How does Nicholas Cage keep headlining movies?
49. I would like to see Adam Sandler return to a dramatic role. Punch Drunk Love was great.
50. I hope Will Ferrell never tries this.
51. I hope Jim Carrey never makes another movie.
52. Why don't Ed Harris, Viggo Mortensen, William DaFoe, and Gary Oldman get more roles?
53. Are you STILL reading this?
54. Tom Hanks quit being good a long time ago. He needs to do more movies with dogs, volcanoes, mermaids, and John Candy.
55. Rest in Peace, John Candy.
56. Throw Me The Statue and Nada Surf both released really good albums in 2008.
57. My Coffee Buzz is wearing off. I think I have a headache.
58. I have been cigarette free for almost 18 months.
59. Maybe I should start a blog.
60. It is a real shame that Little Brothers and Larry's are both gone.
61. Boycott your local Wal-Mart.
62. I am going to have another cup of coffee.
63. There was only half a cup left.
64. I am sooo lucky to have an amazing support group of friends and family. I don't tell them that nearly enough. Of course, the only way the will find out today is if they read this. What am I supposed to do, Call and tell them? PUH-LEEZE.
65. Bruce Campbell and Bruce Springsteen are both great. I am changing my name to Bruce.
66. Not Really. Bruce Wetli would sound weird. Maybe.
67. I would have stayed in Philadelphia if I wouldn't have had to pay back my scholarship.
68. I have interned for Bill Bradley, The Columbus Clippers, and The Ohio State School f/t Blind.
69. Any good Zombie movie is NEVER about the Zombies. Doy.
70. Only Romero-Style Zombies count.
71. Columbus has a really good arts scene and many fine restaurants. Unfortunately tonight I am going to Applebees and then to go watch an acoustic cover band.
72. If I ever do that, Insert Aaron Wetli - a.k.a. Bruce Wetli, in place of New York Mets Front Office and Players in thing #27.
73. Stauuuuuufs is the best coffee in town.
74. Grandview is indeed superior , in every way shape and form, to Clintonville.
75. That being said, Studio #35 is the best place in Columbus to see a movie.