State of the Blame

Four Words that used to have a lot of meaning in my life have considerably lost all importance. Four Words that meant Winter was on its way out and that Spring was just around the corner. Four Words for hope springing eternal. I no longer care for these Four Words: Pitchers and Catchers Report.

Where to begin? Bud Selig, Alex Rodriguez, Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, or the exuberant salaries and the ever present threat of a work stoppage. Okay, I'll start with Bud Selig. Owners should not become commissioners. Isn't that a conflict of interest? How could he be trusted to have the best interests of the game at heart when he stands to gain financially when his team does well. Sure, his daughter is the proper owner of the Brewers, but even having a child run a team in a league you are commissioner of is dirty pool. He should have been forced to sell all interests of the Brewers to a non-family member. Nepotism for Nerds.

Another one of Bud's bad decisions is to have the winning team of the All-Star game have home field advantage during the World Series. This ultimately puts the fans - and other assorted nut jobs like myself - in a position to determine the outcome of the World Series, as the fans vote for the starters, and the starters obviously influence the outcome. Sure my All-Star ballot is a shrine to perfection and my choices are impeccable. But YOU? How can I trust YOU to make the right choice. YOU probably voted for your hometown first baseman instead of Albert Pujols, or the scrappy veteran third baseman who signed your kid's baseball in spring training instead of David Wright. Way to go jerk. Way to give the American League (meaning either the Yankees or Red Sox) home field advantage in the world series. Way to go Bud.

At least the Alex Rodriguez train wreck has been interesting. Steroids, Blaming his cousin for putting the idea in his head, AND Madonna. Outstanding. Personally I think he got the steroids from Madge. Have you seen her arms lately? She makes Linda Hamilton from Terminator Two look like Dakota Fanning. Yikes. A-Rod will never be Derek Jeter, for whom I most certainly do not have a man-crush and have never been associated with a stalking charge. (Derek, if your reading this, please return my phone calls. I know you're at home.) A-Rod is the biggest star on the sport's biggest stage and he is guilty of using performance enhancing drugs. Although it seems pretty obvious that he never took 'roids when the game was on the line. His press conference was phony, his tone was insincere he never stuck up for Joe Torre, AND his teammates ALL hate him. Speaking of Jerk-Ass Yankees on steroids....

Isn't it completely awesome that Roger Clemens has perjured himself and that Andy Pettite has to be his Judas Iscariot? The best pitcher in my lifetime, who has won SEVEN Cy Young awards, over 300 hundred wins, and 4600 strikeouts was more juiced than a yuppie leaving Jamba, talking on an iPhone and driving a Land Rover. Through the years Clemens has proven himself to be a liar, an adulterer, (Mediocre Country & Western Singer Mindy McCready - beginning when she was 15 years old. That's right 15 years old. Go ahead and read that again if you need too. Is there a Statute of Limitations on Statutory Rape?), criminally wreckless in his "payback" of players who have historically hit him well (Mike Piazza. Enough Said.), and the Ultimate Me-First guy who was never afraid to hold a franchise hostage for just a little more money and and a lot more attention. He and Brett Favre are two 1st Ballot Hall of Fame Jerk-Asses.

Next on today's docket. Barry Lamar Bonds. The son a baseball great and the Godson of Willie Mays, baseball is in his DNA. It is his pedigree. Barry, unlike Clemens, Sosa, McGuire, et al was a sure-fire Hall of Famer before he used. He was going to get 500 Home Run AND 500 Stolen Bases. No one else has accomplished that in the history of the game. He just got greedy. After arriving in San Fransisco and REALLY hitting the Human Growth Hormone, Barry's head and feet grew. That's right. His shoe size went from a 10.5 to a 13.0. Isn't that completely disgusting? Check out this article:

http://www.slate.com/id/2178288/

So yeah, the game is pretty gross right now. Yesterday at Target I saw a young kid in a Mets hat. If I wouldn't have come across as an early 30's weirdo, I would have tried to convince the kid to turn his back on the game, and specifically my Mets. My Mets are becoming more and more classless. The players have no desire to win (two prolific late season melt downs in the last two years) and the management is looking more and more inept. And while Willie Randolph was never quite the right fit, he shouldn't have been fired in the middle of the night, after the first game of a huge West Coast road trip, and more specifically after a win. In the simplest terms and the most convenient definition, the Mets are a joke.

At dinner a few weeks ago, my friend Rachel commented that the State of Baseball was just "disgusting" right now. Normally I would have thrown her food to the ground in an indignant manner. But she was right. The game is disgusting, the players are drug-addled, spousal abusing, millionaires and the game is STILL annually breaking records for attendance. And yes, I will join another fantasy baseball league this year. And yes I will still root for the Mets and yes they will let me down again. And yes, I will watch this disgusting game. After all, it beats the hell out of soccer.